Food for Thought: Miss Manners Tells You Where to Stick Your PhD

Miss Manners: Maybe He's a Doctor of Pompousity
By Judith Martin
Article Launched: 12/16/2007 (San Jose Mercury News)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: On the envelope of the Christmas card I sent to my cousin (whom I rarely see), I omitted "Dr." in front of his name. I instead addressed him as Mr.

I didn't intend to offend him. I just meant to send him good wishes for Christmas. Yesterday, I received from him a note that greatly offended me. He sent the same thing to my mother, who is 82 years old and a wonderful person and who cares for him very much.

Enclosed were a copy of his Doctorate of Philosophy degree, with "Doctor" and the year circled, and one of an envelope made out to him as "Dr." He wrote "Please note it is standard to use Ph.D. at the end or Dr. in front but not Mr. on the name of a person with a doctorate. You are only ones that use Mr. Thank you."

I am extremely offended. I feel like writing him back and asking for my Christmas card back.

GENTLE READER: No, no, it's Christmas time, and your poor cousin doesn't know that in the higher levels of the academic world, it is taken for granted that one has a Ph.D. and considered silly for anyone not in the medical field to use the title of doctor.

Miss Manners suggests a letter of apology that begins, "Dear Dr. Cousin."